Our relationship was fraught during these weeks of living together. I didn’t dare say that I needed help and hoped that she would step in spontaneously. She criticised the way I did things with my daughter and the way I managed daily tasks. Three months after Yvanna was born, my parents asked us to leave the family home and I struggled to find a new home quickly for my family.
The conflict continued with my mother, who didn’t see her granddaughter for several months. On her first birthday, the situation eased up and I have since been working to involve her in the life of my daughter so that she enjoy a real grandmother’s relationship with her.
This first year as a single mother made me tougher. It was up to me to manage everything and there was no one I could look to for help with Yovanna’s crises, health concerns and my own questions. I had to stand up for my own education principles and take on the role of mother and father. It's twice as hard, but when I see that my daughter is now bright, polite and sociable, I am doubly proud.
Yvanna is still too young to understand why she does not have a father. It's a little frustrating for me, since she hears the words “dad & mum” a lot on television and she calls men “dad” without understanding its real meaning.
I chose this situation and I have come to terms with it. I feel that we have found our own form of stability. At present, I am not looking for a partner to act as a “substitute dad”. I can manage this on my own.
Being a single parent is difficult, but it’s not impossible. You have to work hard to come to terms with the situation so that the child doesn’t suffer. Good support is really important.