- Postnatal depression can affect fathers and partners as well as mums, with around 10% of men experiencing depression after the birth of a baby. Symptoms may include low mood, anxiety, irritability, exhaustion and feeling disconnected from your partner or baby, often emerging months after the birth.
- Postnatal depression is treatable, and support is available through the NHS, talking therapies, support groups and dedicated mental health charities
The arrival of a baby is often portrayed as one of the happiest moments in life. But for many dads and partners, the reality can feel very different.
Alongside joy and pride, there may be sadness, anxiety, overwhelm or a sense of disconnection that’s hard to explain - and even harder to admit.
Postnatal depression, also known as postpartum depression, is not a failure, a weakness, or a sign that you’re a “bad” parent or partner. It’s a common and very real mental health condition that can affect fathers, non-birthing parents, and partners of all genders.
Most importantly, it is treatable, and help is available.
Can men and partners get postnatal depression?
Yes - absolutely.
Research suggests that around 10% of new fathers experience postnatal depression, and the risk increases significantly if their partner is also experiencing postnatal depression. For many men and partners, symptoms don’t appear immediately.
Postnatal depression in men most commonly peaks between three and six months after the birth, when the initial adrenaline has worn off and exhaustion, pressure, and responsibility set in.
New dads and partners can experience depression for many of the same reasons as new mums, including:
- A sudden increase in responsibility
- Major changes to routine, lifestyle and identity
- Financial pressure
- Strain on the relationship
- Lack of sleep and ongoing exhaustion
- Supporting a partner who is struggling with postnatal depression
There may also be biological factors at play. Levels of hormones such as testosterone, oestrogen, cortisol, vasopressin, and prolactin can shift during the postnatal period, potentially increasing vulnerability to low mood and depression.
While the causes are complex, one thing is clear: postpartum depression in men and partners is normal, common, and not your fault.
What are the signs of postnatal depression in dads and partners?
Postnatal depression doesn’t look the same for everyone. Some people feel overwhelmingly low, while others feel numb, irritable, or disconnected. Symptoms can develop gradually, making them easy to dismiss or explain away.
Common emotional and mental symptoms include:
- Feeling sad, low, or hopeless
- Constant exhaustion or emotional numbness
- Feeling unable to cope or overwhelmed by small tasks
- Loss of interest in things you used to enjoy
- Guilt or shame about not feeling happy
- Worrying that you don’t love your baby “enough”
- Anxiety, panic attacks, or constant worry
- Irritability, frustration, anger, or cynicism
- Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
- Feeling disconnected from your partner or baby
- Thoughts about death or harming yourself or your baby
Behavioural and physical symptoms can include:
- Withdrawing from family life, work, or social situations
- Changes in appetite (loss of appetite or binge eating)
- Difficulty sleeping or insomnia
- Increased alcohol or drug use
- Relationship conflict
- Physical symptoms such as headaches, stomach problems, nausea, changes in weight, constipation, or diarrhoea
If something doesn’t feel right - even if your experience doesn’t match a checklist - it’s important to talk to someone.
Asking for support is a sign of strength, not weakness. You deserve care just as much as anyone else in your family.
