Breastfeeding Ben was a struggle right from the start. It would take him 20 minutes to latch on properly, and I just didn’t produce enough milk. Before we left the hospital his weight had dropped quite a bit, so we decided to give him a bottle. The most important thing was for him to be happy and have a full tummy, and we were pretty relaxed about giving formula. But I was still disappointed.
When we got home, I wanted to keep trying. I would nurse him every day, but every time was hard. I was sore, and I’d have to give him a bottle after every feed anyway, to make sure he was getting enough. I was worried that my nipples were too flat, I tried nipple shields, it was all pretty stressful. Then at about 6 weeks my mom came to stay. We were out of the house a lot more, so Ben started having more bottles, and my body just stopped producing milk. I was pretty sad, wasn’t really ready for it to end, but that was the way it was.
A couple of years later I got pregnant again and was excited to try breastfeeding again. But I was really realistic, didn’t have big expectations. Then when I found out it was twins I lowered them even more. I thought I would try in the hospital, and if I could manage a few days I’d be happy. But when they arrived, it was amazing. The nurse gave me my babies a few hours after my C-section and they just latched on right away. They were really gentle but so strong, and so hungry - it was really neat! And my supply came in right away - on the first night I pumped for 10 minutes and got 2oz. It was amazing.
Back at home, I would breastfeed Charlie and Drew through the day, and give them formula at night. They’re 8 weeks now and that’s what we still do. It’s important to me that they can take a bottle as I’ll be back at work in a month, and I don’t really want to be pumping when I go back. It’s so different from my experience with Ben. I’m really surprised, but totally happy.